As we make it hallway through January of 2017, I have been looking into myself for what to do about this year. I mean, I am one of those guys that celebrate the new year but it really is another link in the chain of our lives. However, since humans function on linear time, we always tend to think that come the new year, it seems like we get a do-over for the year. It’s somewhat of an insane Groundhog’s Day, were we keep going through the year starting over every January 1st but life does move forward.
On a personal level for me, 2016 was a shit-show. If you have read some of my previous blogs, you would know that some personally bad shit happened to me. Judging by the internet, I know I am not the only one to share that sentiment. Yet, here I am thinking about what this year holds in store for me. For some strange reason, this year has a bit of that “let’s try something different”. I am not going to burst into that whole “new year, new you” diatribe or post a meme about it.
See what I did there?
As we haven’t started the year with a major celebrity death, I have some hope that this year may be better than the last. What I am looking at is the mental despair that plagued me almost all of 2016. Most of the bad things that happened to me, personally, were not of my own doing. I never felt so helpless in a single year. Every time I dedicated a moment to be happy and enjoy myself, something would come along and snatch it away. Now, as we start a new year, what can I do to shake off the remnants of the previous year?
With a lot of the negative things that happened over the year, one of the things that I noticed was that I lost my joy. Not just loss of joy in everyday things, but loss of joy in some of my passions. My whole work on the podcast, and site, that I do with my friend lost some major steam. As much ground we made in 2015, we seemed to lose a bit of it in the previous year. Even doing the podcast seemed like a major chore. This year isn’t going to be the same.
I’m not saying that it isn’t still difficult at times – it is. However, when you have nearly 52 weeks of negative stuff, it isn’t something that you can break away from over a weekend. I have done some new work with the site. Started over with a new hosting site, many of the problems that kept the site from running like clockwork on our previous host cleared up and is tight and smooth. Wow. That sounds very wrong when you say it out loud.
Another passion that took a hit – my love for movies. I used to head to the movies without any care about when I was seeing it and how tired I would be at work the next day. This was one of the first years that I actually saw probably a couple of movies in the year. It was even a record year when I purchased the least number of movies, even streamed less movies than I normally did. I have watched more documentaries than ever. I should temper my use of the genre “documentaries” as many of them on YouTube technically shouldn’t count.
This year, I am watching more movies. Not necessarily new movies, just movies in general. I went and saw It’s A Wonderful Life over the holiday weekend at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood and it was amazing. It reminded me of the love I have for them. Directing, writing and acting. I will make more of an effort to watch more films. I even want to see more movies in theaters that I may have missed their first time around.
That leads me back into my writing. Aside from some news articles I wrote for the site last year, and my blog, it is the least amount of writing I have ever done. That will change. Not only will I do the usual amount of writing for my blog and site, but I want to get back into writing. Even on this blog, I may do some short story writing for myself. I want to get back into screenwriting again. I am watching some of my favorite movies in genre and writing. Nothing inspires me than really good writing. So watching movies by Shane Black, Nora Ephron, Ted Tally, Lawrence Kasdan and a few others will inspire me.
The last point is my current employment. I need to get out of there. It is not that it is hard or that it wasn’t the job I originally signed up for, but it IS because it is a dead-end job. There is not room, or hope, for growth. It is a small company that has high ideas but no way to make them a reality. In all of the jobs that I’ve had either allowed me to move up or I loved it enough that I didn’t care. This job has neither but being angry that I still have to go there is not a way to live.
This one is very difficult. I need to change the mindset behind it. I wake up in the morning annoyed because I don’t want to go there, be there, or know that I have to go back there. Some may say, “then find something else.” The major problem is that I do not know what I want to do outside of it. I would love to write for someone, but I haven’t written much in the past year to have a solid portfolio. A vicious circle. I would love to be a content creator but many people want experience that I don’t have to get into it. So, I will start doing more stuff on my own and release it. Note that what I do during my eight hours a day punching a clock is a small moment. It’s what I do after work that is the story.
In the end, it comes down to how I change things. Why did I wait until the first of the year to make these changes? Could be because of all the negative stuff allowed me a moment to think and formulate a plan. Or, maybe I am so sick and tired of letting life happen to me and have decided to make life happen. I deserve good things to happen. I deserve to be happy. Not all the time, but happy for a majority of it. Yet I have to make that happen. I plan to be more active and creative. I can’t rely on people, jobs or life to make me that way. I have to rely on myself. That is my prospect for the year. The year of me.