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I have never been a huge fan of Halloween. Don’t get me wrong, I do not hate Halloween. I am not just a huge fan of it. I know a few people that try to stretch the day into a week. Someone I work with wore a different costumer all last week culminating in the event on Monday. That is a bit much for me. I can’t fully say why I don’t get all crazy about it, but that has always been me. I am not big into dressing up, nor am I into stretching it out as long as I possibly can.

Now, I don’t want people to get into the mindset that I hate the day. I don’t. I enjoy the kids coming to my door in their cute costumes saying ‘trick or treat.’ We manage to give out candy and the good kind. No candy corn in this house. We, or should I say my brother, dresses up our dogs in silly costumers, regardless of the look of murder they have on their face. I hate the homes that don’t believe in giving out candy for Halloween.

You’re going to show this to my girlfriends, aren’t you Mom?

Those turquoise pumpkins that signify that they don’t give out candy bother me to no end. As comedian Sebastian Maniscalco said in his act to anyone that asks him to join that trend, “get the fuck off my porch. We have Snickers and Kit Kats!” That is my sentiment on that issue. If you have that type of “I don’t want to give the kids candy” mentality, you can expect one of two things: the kids will stop coming by your house or you will get a trick from the neighborhood kids. For that, I side with the kids.

I have never been a big fan of horror movies. I am not for the shock and quick scare movies. I am fans of the classic eighties movies like Nightmare on Elm Street, Poltergeist and the seventies classic Halloween. I like movies that imply scares and not the ones that move into gory for the cheap jumps. Even movies like Shaun of the Dead give me enjoyment of the scare but the laughs of the parody the genre provides. However, it all comes down to the Peanuts classic The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is something that will cleanse the pallet after a night of scares.

Mom says I’m going to go blind if I get too close.

I know there are people that hate the holidays and some that kind of gloss over the holidays between Labor Day and Christmas to get their house ready. I love Christmas. I do up the house the day of Thanksgiving and begin turning on the lights the weekend after Thanksgiving. Although, I do not like the fact that stores begin setting up their holiday decorations before Halloween even begins. I think we need to calm down and make sure that everyone gets a chance to celebrate those holidays properly. Especially retail outlets that think it is better for their employees to miss out on Thanksgiving dinner to make them a profit, while all the corporate people (that made the decisions) stay at home and enjoy their dinner.

This ain’t scary, but I’m going to the next house.

I guess it seems that Halloween is a holiday that comes too fast and unless you have a reason (or parties) to go to, you can sit at home and watch Netflix and it will be like any other day. Nevertheless, for me, even the holidays seem to be more lackluster than they used to be. Perhaps that is the old person in me that has to deal with the outside world leading up to these holidays and makes me either bitter or cynical. I do not hate Halloween. I never have. I guess I just don’t have a real reason to get all giddy about it. Perhaps that is the biggest scare of all.